This has been some kind of week…
Major health issues have invaded our family and, well, disrupted everything I had planned and hoped would happen over the next six months.
Turns out…I will not be able to be a stay-at-home mom. I am tempted to say the expected Christian thing…you know…It just wasn’t the right time, but I’m trusting God, etc. But, let’s be real…I’m not certain God even remembers who I am at this point.
Also…I will not be leading the Bible study next week that I so boldly signed up for…Angry, bitter woman does not a good Bible study leader make.
Oh…and I poured orange juice in my cheerios this morning. Yay me.
Lest you think I’ve lost all perspective…I realize there are people who have struggles a lot worse. However, it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to…
I feel like Jacob. You know poor Jacob. He falls in love with Rachel…beautiful, sweet Rachel. He agrees to work for seven years just so that he can marry her. Oh, the dreams he must have been dreaming…the plans he must have made. The excitement he must have felt when the seven years were up and he was able to finally be with Rachel. And, oh my, the disappointment he must have felt when he woke up next to Leah. Oh, Laban, you have done me wrong.
That’s me. I have dreamed. I have planned. I have been deceived.
Don’t worry. I’m certain, in time, I will be blogging about all the wonderful things God has done during this time. Okay, I’m not certain…but, I’m hoping. For now, however, this is what you get.
You will be in my prayers. I have been through seasons like that in my life as well – one rather long one in particular. When my kids were young, I really (really, really, really) wanted to be able to stay home with my kids and it just never worked out for me. I felt very cheated and bitter, too. Take the time to mourn the plans you had made – there is nothing wrong with that!
You have no idea how I wish I could beat Satan down for you. I hate seeing you so discouraged. But, having been there, too, I PROMISE that He Himself has recorded your wanderings. Put your tears in His bottle. They are in His records. (Psalm 56:8)
In the meantime, feel free to unload whenever you have the need.
Stacy: I am sorry that you are struggling and disappointed and feeling lost. Cry if you want to… by all means. You are in my prayers.
Stacy:
Just read this. Praying for you. Praying you will look back and know this happened for a reason. Not sure what the medical situation is but I am praying for your family,
Love, Sandra