Has God ever hurt your feelings?
Have you ever been angry with Him?
Can you think of a time when you felt like He tricked you?
Have you ever wanted to do the fool me once, shame on me – fool me twice, shame on You thing to Him?
Have you ever experienced such a loss that you were prone to wander?
Most of us wouldn’t feel comfortable admitting to some of those things. So, for the next 500 words, let’s all pretend that we have a friend (I’m totally doing air quotes right there) who has experienced some of these emotions.
I was listening to a story yesterday about a woman who, after enduring several painful life experiences, decided that God was no longer good. She was wounded and unable to see beyond it.
It made me think of another woman I know who once said, “I’m afraid that, when it’s my turn to suffer, I will disappoint Him.” It was this woman’s greatest desire to suffer well for her Savior.
I couldn’t help but wonder, in the midst of pain, what makes one woman cling tighter to the cross and one turn her back and walk away?
I thought of Job who, of course, suffered more loss than most of us can imagine. But I also thought of his wife who, we often forget, suffered the very same losses. While they may have experienced the same losses, they had very different responses.
Job’s wife
His wife said to him, “Are you still trying to maintain your integrity? Curse God and die.” Job 2:9
Job
Even if he kills me, I will hope in Him. Job 13:15
One says, “Forget it.”
The other says, “I’m not letting go.”
What’s the difference?
I thought about this for quite some time and here is what God kept bringing to my mind.
The first five verses in the first chapter of Job tell us a lot about Job’s relationship with the Lord before the tragedy. Before the loss. Before the heartache.
He was completely devoted to the Lord. It was his custom to rise early every morning and offer prayers and sacrifices on behalf of his children.
We have to know that we know that we know that the Lord is good. We have to trust His heart. We have to believe in His love. We have to be committed to Him. But this all needs to take place on the front end!
When you know someone’s heart, you can trust them more. When someone has proven to be faithful, you cling tightly to them even as the storm rages around you. Notice that Job never claims to not be in pain. Life is dang hard and no one makes it through unscathed. It still hurts, y’all. But our hurt doesn’t cancel out our hope.
Whatever the days hold for us, let us be people who refuse to let go no matter what.
You are loved. <3
Stacy Jean,
Another good post, my friend. I may not be able to reply every time I read your blog posts, but rest assured I read them.
This one – Powerful and exact. Did my heart good that you pondered and took time to *think about *Job and his wife’s reaction. And that it often takes time for silent “thinking” and pondering before God reveals His truth. That in itself is a strong testimony of discipleship to your readers.
And, oh yes, I want to suffer well for Jesus. That would make all of it worth it when I see him face to face. I was recently pondering myself about how well (or, actually, not so well) I carry my cross. It ain’t pretty or honorable most of the time.
Thanks for sharing your meditations and ponderings, and “penning” (or actually, ‘typing’) it so well.
Sharon Ruth