My oldest daughter recently asked me, “Why do people always stop and talk to us?”

“Always?”

“Yes, always.”

Now, I could sit here and tell you that she is exaggerating. But, she isn’t. It doesn’t seem to matter where we go, someone stops us. That is just what happens when you have five children. People are shocked horrified angry confused interested. The question is always the same.

Are these all your children?

Yes, they are all mine.

I have to say that we have met the most interesting people because of our large family. I have had people ask if all of my children have the same dad, if we are on public assistance and if we have figured out what causes it. Strangers, y’all, asking these things! {The answers, by the way, are all the same – that would be none of your concern.} Just the other day, a sweet lady walked up and commented on the fact that my infant was not wearing shoes. She disapproved. But, she gave me credit for “at least her skin is clean.” Well, thank you for noticing, ma’am.

Anyway, I got to thinking. Perhaps, you would like to be noticed more often when you are out and about with your children. Maybe, you would like a little of the stranger love. It just isn’t very nice for our family to hog it all. Share and share alike. That’s what my mama always says.

So, today only, I am going to share some of my best kept secrets with you. If you want to attract unwanted attention, unsolicited advice and unnecessary commentary, just follow these simple rules.

1. Always have at least one child {bonus points for two} forget to wear shoes.
2. Have random papers, toys or happy meal bags fall out of the car when you open the door.
3. Teach your child to wait until you are in the middle of checking out to begin yelling, “I have to tee tee. I have to tee tee.”
4. Allow your child to wear her stocking cap to the store in the middle of June.
5. Allow your child to wear her flip flops to the store in the middle of January.
6. Have your child put random groceries items in the wrong person’s buggy and then try to retrieve them without being noticed.
7. Be sure to always have at least one child with a runny nose and make sure that you do not have any tissues on hand.
8. Make sure to allow your child to push around one of those little shopping carts so that she can run into the back of strangers and pick up multiple items that you have no intention of buying.
9. Make a trip to the library and watch as your children occupy every computer. {Doesn’t everyone go to the library to play on the computer?}
10. Always plan your outings during a time when your baby is hungry, tired or both.

So, there you have it. Never again will you have to endure an outing without interruptions. No more cruising through the aisles unnoticed. No more making it through your shopping without someone questioning whether you are buying any vegetables to go with the doughnuts and potato chips in your buggy. {True story.}

Go on out there and get noticed, my friends! It’s a crazy good time.

{disclaimer: it’s all in good fun, y’all. we love people. we love their stories. we love meeting people that we wouldn’t meet otherwise. it’s all good.}