I admit that I am high strung and easily stressed. Shocking, I know.
I get all worked up about things like…holding the door open for someone. For instance, what do you do if they are not right behind you but you’ve made eye contact? And you know that they know that you know they’re coming that way. Do you stand there and hold it open or not?
Or what about cars that want to merge onto the interstate when you’re in the right lane. Do you speed up and look obnoxious? Do you slow down and annoy the car behind you? Do you maintain your speed and pretend like the car beside you is not giving you the finger evil eye?
What’s a girl to do?
And then, there is the salad bar. Oh. My. Word. Seriously, if we could just have a heart to heart for a moment. There are some personal preferences universal understandings when it comes to salad bar etiquette.
- Keep it moving. Do not stop in front of the olives to make small talk with someone walking by.
- Have a plan. Once you pass an item there is no going back. Do it right the first time.
- Separation of veggies and fattening goodness. I am so glad that you enjoy the broccoli spears and cauliflower chunks. Just don’t be dropping them in my cheese and pepperoni buckets.
- No give-backs. There can be no removal of food from your plate back to the salad bar. Once it has touched your plate – it is officially your lunch. Enjoy.
- Keep your head and hair above the sneeze guard at all times. I’m sorry if your arms are short and the banana peppers are way in the back. I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but…if you can’t reach it – you can’t have it. For the sake of my salad and my sanity – head and hair away from the food, people.
So, there you go. I trust you will find these tips helpful. 🙂
It took me a great many years to finally allow myself to eat at a salad bar/buffet. Since I’m sure you’re wondering, allow me to share:
1.) At a popular family buffet in FL, I watched in horror as one of the employees sprayed Windex onto the sneeze guard – and all the contents beneath.
2.) During a different experience not soon after, a guest dropped the big silver serving spoon on the floor, then proceeded to pick it up and put it BACK in the tray. I think it was a pudding or something with gravy. I just remember that when the spoon hit the floor, it left traces of whatever the food item was, which means that it was gooey enough to pick up whatever dirt, dust and other crumbs happened to be in the “drop zone”.
Disgusting.
I have since been reformed. I think of it this way: God made dirt, and dirt don’t hurt. There’s a lot of gross going on in the world, but none of its taken me out yet. 🙂 I assure you though – if I saw something like that today, I’d be d-o-n-e with buffets – forever!
Ok. I was there with you. Until I reached Tip 5.
Being a little cruel to we horizontally challenged peeps . . . oh Tall Vertical One with long arms? Do the salad bar counters really need to be 3-4 feet deep with a row of the best toppings in the BACK? Seriously, what is that about?? Am I required to miss out on the best morsels to add to my greens? Or smash my face (and eye glasses) and over-extend an aging arm muscle trying to reach for a piece of cheese or bit of tasty, red tomato?
I guess from now on, when I go through the salad line, I will request that YOU come along to reach for my banana pepper, black olives and cheese. You’re that kind of friend!
BTW – We can chuckle about this on our way for the BOGO Starbucks holiday beverage.
The hair and face I can keep out of the salad bar – but what about the old batwings? It’s getting too difficult as they get droopier with age!
Amen. Let it be so. 🙂