You see…I just had these plans. It’s what we women do…we plan.
Plans to stay in my jammies and snuggle with the girls on cold, winter days. Plans to go to the library, the park and the science museum. Plans for fun, after-school snacks and rainy day art projects. Plans to organize, clean out and redecorate.
Plans…I had them. They were good plans. And I was very excited about these plans I had made.
So, when they proceeded to all fall apart before my eyes, it was a little hard to accept. My plans to be a stay-at-home mommy postponed indefinitely. For awhile, I admit, I was devastated. One might even say…I pouted.
As I sat this morning and thought about plans, I found my way to Proverbs.
A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. – Proverbs 16:9 (NKJV)
I pondered this verse for quite some time. Why does it not say that a man’s heart plans his way and a man directs his steps accordingly? Here is why:
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked… – Jeremiah 17:9 (NKJV)
My heart will lead me astray. Now, it’s not that every desire of my heart is wicked. My desire to stay home is a good desire. It would be a good thing. However, the Lord directs our steps so that we don’t settle for the good thing when He has a great thing in store.
I have to continually remind myself that I can not see what God can see. And it is hard. I would not want to pretend otherwise. Choosing to follow Christ means I allow Him to direct my steps knowing full well that it may not be in line with the plans of my heart. However, God is faithful and so worthy of my trust. So, I will follow Him.
I have been thinking about you, today. You have such beautiful girls. I’m sure they are a great blessing to you.
It’s hard sometimes to understand why God puts us where He does. ~Even harder to understand why He leaves us there when we are begging for relief. Isn’t it amazing, though, how He still draws us to Him in our pain and confusion? I am so in awe of Him, today…
I am sorry for your pain. You know, it’s okay to grieve the plans you had, to be sad and sorrowful.
Perhaps this is only for a time, and you will yet have your heart’s desire…
I do know that the Lord is with you, and He knows you.
I just wanted you to know I am praying for you today…
Jennifer
And isn’t it wonderful to be able to find each other, and encourage each other, even though we’ve never met? Your blogs do encourage me, too. I am glad you are writing again and I hope you will keep writing. God bless you, Sister… Jennifer