Lessons from Job

I have been dancing around the Scriptures this week. Jumping from Romans to Psalms to Galatians. Searching. Just searching for some word from God. Some explanation for what has happened over the course of the last couple of weeks.

One day I’m having a mountain-top experience. I was praising God for what I thought was about to be the blessing of all blessings. Then…I didn’t just come down from the mountain. I missed a step, tumbled head first down the mountain and landed in a crumpled heap at the bottom. It hurt. Still does.

And I don’t understand. In my human, not all-knowing mind it seems that the prize was dangled before me only to be taken away as I reached for it. And, to be honest, I was quite frustrated with God. I wanted to know ‘why’. I felt wounded by the One who was supposed to care for me…it reminded me of another time when I felt like God had let me down.

June 28, 2006. It’s funny how dates just stick in our memories. Good ones. Bad ones. Months can go by without a certain event coming to memory, but you see the date on the calendar and it’s like it happened yesterday. That is how June 28th is for me. It was a beautiful, sunny day. I was pregnant with a second baby. It had taken us almost a year to get pregnant with this one and I knew it was going to be a girl. Obviously, at nine weeks, I didn’t yet know, but felt that it was and had already named her…Lillian Grace. That morning, I dropped Emily off at school and suddenly knew something was very wrong. Cramping. Bleeding. I went straight to my doctor and, by the time I got there, I was no longer pregnant. That’s what they told me. “I’m sorry. You’re no longer pregnant.” Talk about falling off of the mountain and landing on your face.

It’s so hard to understand…the difference between God not causing an event, but not stopping it either or God having the ability to answer a specific request, yet choosing not to do so. It would be so easy to become bitter and angry. But God and I…we have history. When you’ve been together as long as we have…you know each other well. He knows that, though I am hurt and frustrated at the moment, I will come around to what I know to be true of Him. I know Him well enough to know that, even though something bad has happened, He is still good. He can handle my emotions. I can handle not having all of the answers.

“…The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord. In all of this, Job did not sin or accuse God of wrongdoing.” Job 1:21-22

“Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” Job 13:15

God and Job…they had history. God knew that his servant would never walk away from His God. Job knew that, though he did not understand the circumstances, His God was good.

I pray that will always be my response to the Lord in times of hurt, disappointment or even devastation. Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.

2 thoughts on “Lessons from Job

  1. I hear you, my friend. The Beth Moore book I am reading talks about how Jesus was asking questions in the Temple when he was a boy. She says “faith is not the avoidance of questions. Our faith grows when we seek answers . . . We may hear a gentle, ‘Because I said so,’ to those God chooses not to answer, but I don’t believe our heavenly Father is offended by questions. Part of Christlikeness is learning to listen and ask appropriate questions . . .”

    Sometimes I feel somehow unfaithful or sinful when I start to ask why or get mad because things don’t go my way. But feeling that way is from Satan, and not from God. I am always reminded Jesus’ words on the cross in Mark 15:34:

    “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

    If even Jesus felt abandoned by God then surely it is okay for me to feel that way too sometimes. It doesn’t mean I am, because we know we NEVER are. You just don’t always feel Him. And that is our fault, not His. Stupid human emotions. But I firmly believe that God works beauty from ashes and pain, because right after Jesus cried out to God and died:

    Mark 15:38 “The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.”

    I Corinthians 2:7
    “we speak of God’s secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began.”

    Hebrews 10:10
    “And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.”

    Hebrews 10:12
    “But when this priest had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God.”

    Hebrews 10:14
    “because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.”

    Hebrews 10:19-23
    “Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.”

    Hebrews 10:35
    “So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.”

    Psalm 111:9
    “He provided redemption for his people;
    he ordained his covenant forever—
    holy and awesome is his name.”

    Isaiah 35:10
    “and the ransomed of the LORD will return.
    They will enter Zion with singing;
    everlasting joy will crown their heads.
    Gladness and joy will overtake them,
    and sorrow and sighing will flee away.”

  2. Hi,
    Not sure exactly who’s blog led me to yours, but I have been reading now for a while. Thank you for the heart,thoughts and effort that goes in to every post. I got chills today as I was reading. I too suffered a miscarriage at 9 weeks(but ours was- January 2007). In Feb 2008 we welcomed our daughter Lillian Grace.
    Thank you again for your writing and know that it touches many. I will continue to be a faithful reader. God Bless You.

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